Beating the Tybee Heat

A thermometer on a beach with people playing in the sand.

It is hot out. Not just a little, but really, really hot. It’s all well and good when you are out playing in the ocean or just lounging on the beach, enjoying the cool breezes off the Atlantic. But what are you to do when you are away from the sand and the surf?  Here are some tricks I’ve discovered by dealing with these summers for my entire life. Hope it helps, folks!

Look familiar?

Most people have experienced a sunburn a few times in their life. Your skin feels tight, it burns, it itches, it’s horrible, you can’t sleep…so what do you do? Well, I suppose you could purchase some dubious  sunburn relief aloe concoctions or you could try this.Fill an ice cube tray with vinegar and rub the ice cubes onto the burnt areas. I have found that vinegar is much more effective in reducing the redness associated with sunburns and the ice cubes feel great on the skin. Granted if you really dislike the smell you may want to figure out another option.

They certainly can….

You know who really seems to revel in all the summertime heat? Nasty, little vile creatures known as mosquitoes.  I am particularly attractive to these disgusting vermin and could take a bath in some Off Deep Woods Bug Spray, go outside and still get bit.  I have spent a small fortune in anti itch creams, sprays, herbal remedies, and whatever else you can think of for the huge welts that appear on my flesh after being bitten. Guess what works the best and which I have only recently discovered? Vinegar. Yup, vinegar is turning into the key for a perfect summer.

Perfect for a summertime porch party.

Pretty cool, right? All you have to do is dab a cotton ball in vinegar and place it on the bite. This works best if you’ve just been stung. The itching and swelling should dissipate and it will never come back. Until you get bit again.

Enjoy spending some time relaxing on the porch but can’t get over the sweltering heat? Make your own AC! The construction process is very simple. Cut a hole for the beer can ( turn it into a pipe by cutting off the top and bottom)  to vent the cool air. Cut another hole on the top — just slightly smaller than the circumference of the fan (and on angle to prevent it from falling into the cooler). Secure the fan in place with the tape. Add ice packs into the cooler and plug in the fan. Will it cool off a house? NO. Will it decrease the temp of a screened in porch? You better believe it.

Redneck AC!!!

If the other method seemed a bit too complicated, try this one. Place a frozen bottle of water (four-fifths full) in front of a fan. Keep frozen bottles of water in the freezer and swap them out as they melt. You’ll want to sit directly in front of the fan, as it only works at close range.
To chill a bottle of wine in a jiffy, you just need an ice bucket — or a less classy but equally large receptacle — plus some ice, water, and lots of salt. First, toss your ice with a handful or two of salt, and distribute it evenly. Place your bottle in whatever vessel you’re using, then dump the ice over it. (If you’ve been drinking, you will spill some ice. Accept this.) Pouring ice over a bottle is much easier than trying to shove a wide bottle butt into a bucket of ice.

Frozen grapes make excellent ice cubes and won’t water down your wine. They also make incredibly refreshing snacks. This is one of those supper simple “why didn’t I think of that?” ideas that I just love. For your next pool party – have the drinks as close as possible to your guests who are lounging in the water. Why not?!  All you need is a pool noodle, a medium sized storage container, nylon cord, and something to cut stuff with. Cut the Noodle into 4 pieces (Two Long, and two shorter) Use the rope to tie them all together, and wrap the noodle and rope around the plastic container.

Normally reserved for freezing the least popular kid’s underwear at sleepovers, this method has been resurrected in the south as the new technique to beat the sweltering, hundred degree heat. First get a small towel, get it wet, and then fold it into a U shape. Put it into the freezer and wait until it freezes. When it’s frozen, take it out and wrap it around your neck. I swear to God, you’re going to die from pleasure. It is absolutely the most comfortable, cheap and soothing ways to beat the heat, ever.

These are just a few ways to beat the Tybee heat, if you can think of some more just let me know in the comment section. Stay cool y’all!

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